The Septuagenarian Speaks, published October 25, 2018, Siskiyou Daily News

“Truth is stranger than fiction.” – Mark Twain, from “Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World.”

The entire quote was actually, “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”

Mark Twain’s concept has never been more apparent than in today’s political climate.  I will present three examples from the last couple of weeks, plucked randomly from a veritable sea of such creatures.

Michael Avenatti.  This amazing piece of work, a self-avowed presidential candidate, is why people are skeptical of lawyers.  He grabbed the headlines some time ago by representing Stormy Daniels in a suit against Donald Trump and attempting to void a non-disclosure agreement regarding an alleged sexual encounter.  He has been ramping it up ever since.  He got into the Kavanaugh Supreme Court nomination fiasco by presenting Julie Swetnick, who, without corroboration, alleged that Kavanaugh and his friends drugged and gang-raped girls at parties.  Many Democrats believe that Avenatti’s outlandish allegations hurt their cause, actually cementing Kavanaugh’s approval because it swayed Republicans who were on the fence, such as Senator Susan Collins.  This past week, a Los Angeles Superior Court judge made a ruling that Avenatti failed to uphold the terms of a settlement agreement he had made with a former law partner.  As a part of the settlement Avenatti had agreed to pay his partner $4.85 million.  When he didn’t pay, the law partner had to sue him again, resulting in the current order.  This is in addition to a separate U.S. bankruptcy court ruling that Avenatti’s former law firm owed the same person $10 million in back pay. Should I put up a yard sign, “Avenatti for President!”?

Dennis Hof.  Dennis Hof, who died a week ago last Tuesday, was, and still is, a candidate for the Nevada state legislature.  He owned the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, a legal Nevada brothel.  Hof styled himself as America’s best-known pimp and strip-club owner who ran several brothels, and nicknamed himself the “Trump from Pahrump,” after the town where he lived in Nevada.  Notwithstanding his death Hof’s campaign manager was quoted as saying, “I feel very comfortable predicting that he is still going to win the election on November 6.”

Deborah Reno.  Deborah Reno is, or maybe was, a candidate for city council in Evanston, WY, a city of about 13,000 residents about 80 miles northeast of Salt Lake City.  She considered dropping out of the race when it was discovered that she sold her used panties on a website catering to fetishists.  Working under the name of Mystee Crockett, she had an online storefront catering to “used panty buyers.”  She also sold “dirty gym shorts for $20 plus shipping.”  My prediction is that, whether she drops out of the race or not, she potentially can become a very wealthy woman.  Think about the “My Pillow” guy on TV.  She can become the “My Panties” gal.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Bob Kaster

Yreka, CA

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